In another article, “Should We Live Together Before We Get Married?“, I said I would share questions to consider before moving in before your wedding.
Naturally, you are the only ones who should decide what you are going to do. However, these questions may help you. Conversations between the two of you, and some individual thinking are called for.
From a purely scientific perspective premarital cohabitation has a few detrimental ramifications. You cannot pretend they do not exist, but they are not the end of the world either. They were already discussed in the previous article. But don’t worry!
In the modern Western world some couples move in together before they think about marriage. Not having marriage in clear sight is a bad idea. But we won’t go there. Not in this article.
Whatever your situation. It is always best to learn more than “common knowledge” about marriage. Most “common knowledge” is unscientific, and dangerous.
3 Questions to Consider Before Moving In Before Your Wedding
Newlywed couples face challenges. But not if they are prepared. Unfortunately, too many are not. We never tell people what they “should” do. But you can make better decisions if you are aware of what marriage experts know. Sort of like hiking a new trail and seeing a “rock slide area” warning sign. Here are the big questions;
- WHY? Why do you want to move in together? Some things you do have deep and lasting consequences; some good, and some not so good. Other things you do can be disastrous, while some actions, that are well thought out, will bring great happiness. Knowing why you want to move in before your wedding is important. It should be thoroughly considered. Also, have accompanying expectations that match your decision.
- Is moving in an excuse to put off your wedding? Do you have a set date? Think of marriage as launching your self-built yacht of adventure upon the sea of life. There is something to be said about a “clean start”. There is even more to be said about being properly prepared. Having your premarital counseling done ahead of time will mean no fights, no awkwardness, no crazy expectations, and lots of consideration; the right kind.
- Did you complete premarital training? Marriage is not easy when you do not have the knowledge it takes for success. You may not realize that every single marriage starts out with high hopes. But there is a 50%+ divorce rate. Something to think about.
We don’t think we need to mention considerations like family, logistics and all of that. It is so personal. But try to remember that marriage is for the rest of your life. You do need to create the right habits. The ones that create ever expanding happiness.